In the car with my friend Ethan from SSN, We talked about helping people with donations. Ethan, with a limited income supporting and raising for SSN, also helps people in extreme poverty in the local community get by. Some people come to the project, think that they SSN are a school, and ask if their kid can go there. One example is a single mom with five kids that lost her house after being widowed and abused by a new husband. She can't afford tuition, and can hardly afford food. For order of magnitude 50 bucks, their kids can go to boarding school for the semester, and if not, they're in the streets. This is hard to ignore, and if this is a neighbor, life isn't as good if one is a normal human but doesn't help out. So Ethan helps out.
Another example, my friend and teacher donates around 50% of his pension to charity. We came by him to talk, and of course we told the SSN story. After careful contemplation, he splits his donation for that month in half and shifts half of it to SSN. The other cause, a school project in Cambodia, will have significantly less that month. We feel that in our bones.
So I asked them both: how do you choose who to help, and how do you stay sane knowing full well that there are millions that need your help just as much and whom you are not helping.
But if we spread our donations over the more than 800 million people in extreme poverty, it would only make a significant impact if we had billions to donate. I don't.
The answer is that we quantify, we calculate, and we help a few –as many as we can, but only a few– to make a significant and lasting improvement to their lives. And for the rest of the donation requests, we withhold our attention and concentration. This sounds cold, but it is the only way to sustain our compassion and make good use of it. We can know that we cannot help everyone in the world, wish those that we cannot help all the best, but not invite them to distract us.
That's why I would recommend that your offering and asking for help is very concentrated. Help those that you can. Convince those that you know have attention and concentration and resources to spare, but leave those that are already stretched at peace. We are trying, and we will not stop trying.
So if you are bombarded with donation requests that you cannot reasonably fulfill, even if the requesting party is legitimate: filter them out. Turn off the notifications, mute the channel, block even. But do it kindly: I know you are suffering. I am wishing you well. May you be safe, may you be healthy, may you be loved. And let them go in peace.
We can't fix the world alone, we are not that important individually. Your health and wellbeing are essential, take care. That's my quick summary of the advice I got, and I'm happier for it. May it be of use to you as well, dear reader.